Happily- Ever- Single
Psalms 31:14-16 But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hands… Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love.
As a 39 year old, single mom with three children, I have gained many single friends over the past two years. Many of us come from divorce, some have managed to escape the sanctity of marriage, and a few are widowed. We come in all shapes and sizes, have varying careers, and our age range is expansive. We have different views on life, all of our goals and ambitions vary from a small degree to worlds apart. Some of us are quite content with the status of “single”; while others grow impatient and long for a mate in their lives. No matter the case, at this point in life we are single, and with this status comes raised eyebrows from our well wishing friends and family who wonder, “Are you really happily-single?”
If you are single, you know the look and have heard the question. These are questions we too have asked ourselves and can sometimes tear at our own hearts. They are constant reminders of who we are, our status, and can make even the strongest of our members doubt their happiness. These questions come in the form of: “So, when are you going to find someone and settle down?” “What about kids? Don’t you want to have a family?” “Sure, you say you are happy now, but what happens 5 years down the road when you realize your chances of happiness might have passed you by?” “Y’all have been dating how long? Isn’t it time to move on or get married?”
Arghhhh! Please allow me to clarify; being single does not equal unhappy. Sure, there are days some of us long for someone to share the details of our day with; there are times a hand would be nice to hold; and yes, there are those days we look to the future and wonder, “Is there anyone God has intended for me?”
Yes, I too have stared these questions head-on. In those moments, I am reassured by God that everything good comes in His timing and not my own. In those moments, I ask, “Do you trust that God has a more perfect plan than you or I do?”
How can we as singles calm these ever looming questions?
The Lord is my portion: By studying God’s word daily and storing it in my heart I am assured of His love for me. Communicating with God daily reassures me that His timing is better than my own. I claim His word over my life. No one could ever supply my needs as He does.
Memo to self: I keep constant reminders of God’s word posted all around me. God had a very good reason for sticky notes; use them. When I first became single, I wrote scripture on just about every erasable surface I could find with an Expo. Deuteronomy 28:1-14 surrounded me, and spoke God’s promises over me.
Be a friend: You will need a hand to hold and others to care for you. I have filled my life with Christian friends. Trust me, we know when you need a hug, provided a hand to hold, and even in your moments of insomnia, we will listen when you need someone to care. Trust me, we’ve been there.
Need love/Give love: Still lonely and wallowing in self pity? Taking the focus off of ourselves cures the “loneliness blues”. Get involved with the needs of your church and community. When serving others, it takes away all sense of needing and puts my focus on giving.
Choose wisely: It’s Friday evening; TBS is having a “Sleepless in
Let me just say that God does have good and wonderful plans for your life, but also let me point out that you must choose God’s plan. If you didn’t check out Deuteronomy 28 before, please go do it now. God has me and you in His hands, His plans for our lives are good, and His love will never fail us.
