This one’s for the boys…
The word got out that I had written a devotional for just the women, and I got a reaction from you, the men, that I didn’t expect. With a jilted look on your faces, you asked, “Why didn’t you write one for us?” This was the first and most frequent question asked. I had several sarcastic come backs, but I suppose it all boils down to my lack of qualifications to write for men. Being a woman, do you really trust me to write a devotional for men? If not, then you may decide to stop reading here because I am going to attempt it. But I assume many of you do or you wouldn’t have asked. In the women’s devotional, I didn’t divulge secretes to “what a woman really wants” but I did discuss what she should want. In this respect, I will do the same for you.
Now this is the tricky part, because I am about to make some assumptions about what men want; and this is pertaining to relationships. Yes, this is written from my perspective and I am not speaking on behalf of all women, but I do feel as if a few of us have been confused on this issue. I even tried to “Google” the topic “What A Man Wants” and even my computer got confused.
These are some things we, the women, have been told by men… I am getting this information from profiles that are on “yahoo personals” but have changed the wording enough not to plagiarize or to reveal the source of the persons providing the information. So men, this is what men are saying…
“I want a woman who is confident, self assured, and has little or no drama in her life. She should be adventurous and spontaneous. I would like someone who cares for others. I enjoy being with friends and family and I would enjoy being around a woman who does the same. I like sports, hunting, and fishing and would like to spend time with someone that likes to do the same.” Okay, so far so good… I was reading this and going down the check list… “Good, um-hum, yes- me, me, me…” And then I keep reading… “I would like an independent woman who doesn’t need me to complete her. I want to spend time together but need a lot of space. I want a woman who is a Christian, but isn’t uptight. The woman I am looking for should be respected by others.” Okay, some confusion is creeping in and I have one eyebrow raised… I keep reading… “She should be attractive and take care of herself, but at the same time low-maintenance. If you email me, please send your picture. Let’s face it; if the attraction thing isn’t there, it’s not happening.” Hmmm… I sort of agree but he makes it sound so shallow. “I would like a woman who enjoys romance; someone who is ready to be spoiled; someone who is ready to be treated like a lady; and someone who is ready for a deep, meaning, and intimate relationship.” There we have it gentleman; and there it is in the bottom line; the grand finale!!! This guy is slick! From a woman’s view point, in this case- me, he just blew it.
Should I pick it apart for you? No, I think that I will just relish in the deceptiveness, the smooth way he eases us into reading his profile, and just when he has the woman on the hook, he slips his real intentions in… Oh- he is a clever one! I could only say that this is the workings of a “double minded man”.
Now-now… I know you guys are chomping at the bit to let me know that not all guys are like this. And believe me, we women are very appreciative that you aren’t on the endangered species list or extinct by now. But guys, let’s face it, the women rarely encounter the truly “good” guy. It’s almost like a “Big Foot” spotting or the New Orleans Saints winning a Super Bowl- has that ever happened? If you would like to respond, I will gladly take all suggestions and rebuttals in writing.
Although it doesn’t seem like it, the reason I am writing you this is to applaud those of you who are truly Godly men. I am writing you in order to encourage you to continue seeking God in your life first and show you what to look for when seeking a Godly woman. And fella’s before I go any further, let me just say how much I am enjoying writing this… I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time, but at the same time, I am finding out even more about the heart of a man and where God is leading me in my life.
First, let’s start with seeking God, or should I say let’s start with seeking God first in your life, and what it means to be a righteous man serving God. When we think of men in the Bible who sought God, the first name that comes to mind is Solomon. Solomon was and still is the wisest and wealthiest man that ever lived. He was just a boy when he gained his position in life- King over
In 1 Kings 3:7-9 NIV Solomon is concerned over his new position. He is not concerned with gaining more wealth, revenge, or expanding his empire but he is considering how he, a young boy, will lead such a multitude of people: “Now, O Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?” Men, how often do you consider seeking God first in the kingdom God has provided to you? Don’t start glancing around your “digs” and wondering what kingdom. If you are thinking that you don’t have one, think again.
One day, as I sat in church, my pastor asked, “Just how many people do you come in contact with each day? How many unexpected interruptions do we experience in our daily lives? Now multiply that times the number of days in a year?” I thought long and hard about this. For one, I’m not so good with math and so it took me a while to come up with the answer. After figuring the number of students I teach times the number of school days per year, adding in about 140 parents and timing that by 4, and taking into consideration a guestimated number of friends, family, and acquaintances, well let’s just say that my numbers are well over 40,000. Woe- that’s astounding… That’s a kingdom! No wonder Solomon had concerns. Next, my pastor inquired whether or not we were using those interactions to honor and serve Him. What a heavy load, but one we can carry if we seek God’s wisdom and guidance as Solomon did.
You have a kingdom. What is your responsibility to your kingdom? God was pleased with the question Solomon posed to Him. Solomon wasn’t being greedy for himself or being vindictive towards his enemies, and just like any proud parent, God rewards Solomon for his pure heart. In 1 King 3:12-14 God says to Solomon, “I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for- both riches and honor- so that in your lifetime you will have no equals among kings. And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life.”
Are you getting it? Is it becoming clear what you should be seeking? Some of you are nodding and some of you are asking, what this has to do with women. Well, here it comes… We want a man to meet us at where we are at in life. Some of you look puzzled. First of all, let me explain that I’m not talking about just any woman. This will be a woman of faith. This will be a woman seeking God first in her life. This will be a woman serving the Lord for the kingdom she has been given. If you want any other advice or any other type of woman, you will have to look in some “metro” type magazine… You know the ones that say “Top 10 Secrets to A Woman’s Heart”. FYI… That type of information changes everyday… Or maybe you did know that.
You’ve heard it said that “women are from Mars and men are from Venus”, but I think if you look at the fruit of wisdom, we may find some common ground to stand on. For basically I believe that men and women have the same fundamental desires. Turn in your Bible to Proverbs 3. This chapter points out the rewards of seeking God first in our lives. Proverbs 3:2 promises to extend our lives and to give us wealth; 3:4 promises that we will have favor and a good reputation in the
Men, are you being the “Solomon” over your kingdom? Are you seeking God’s guidance and wisdom in your life? You see, I don’t think that you, the men, or us, the women, really have to worry about God providing us with “the one” He has planned for us. In Matthew 6:33 NIV Jesus says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” When we are serving Him and seeking Him with all of our hearts, He will take care of the rest. For those of you who were puzzled when I said, “meet a woman where she’s at”, I would urge each of you to consider seeking God first and allowing Him to place a woman along side of you that is searching and yielding to God’s will as well. Until that time, seek Him and serve Him in the kingdom He has provided.
Love to all,
Missy Stafford
