Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life."
This topic, "Guarding Your Heart" had been on my mind for a couple of weeks before presenting it to our Saturday night Bible study last night. As I studied God's word and prayed that he would reveal areas in my own life that needed protecting, He led me to learn so much about myself. God revealed to me these areas in my life that I was not protecting my heart in, and He also revealed to me the consequences of doing this, the reasons behind it, and gave me instructions on how to protect my heart in the future.
The consequences: Singles are given opportunities to meet and invite new relationships into our lives. But rarely do we question why we are investing in someone so much when it is clearly not a relationship that honors God. Lending our time, our emotions, our heart, and our hopes is a part of the struggles we face. Doing this can potentially drain us spiritually and draw us away from our relationship with God. Proverbs 19:16 He who obeys instructions guards his life, but he who is contemptuous of his ways will die.
Why: I asked myself why we sometimes continue to carry on relationships that are not honoring to God. The first thought that came to mind was low self confidence. Many of you may not see the side of me that feels inadequate in many areas of my life, and you may not see that I do not feel worthy of the kind of love that God desires for me. Another reason that I fail to protect myself is lack of patience. Romans 13:13-14 Make no provisions for the flesh, to gratify his desire. God promises that He has good plans for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). I don't know if it's lack of faith sometimes or just wanting to take matters into my own hands, but it's like... "okay God, since it aint happening, I'll make it happen". These are the times that I try to push a square peg into a round whole. And guess what? It doesn't fit (again).
Instructions to guarding your heart: Mark 16:13-14 Be on guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.
Since I love to cook, I will reference this like a recipe. Of course, the first thing you will need is a Bible. Equip yourself with God's word so that you will be prepared when a new relationship forms in your life. Not only does this strengthen us in our walk with God, but it opens our eyes to see if the person we are communicating with is talking the talk and walking the walk. We discussed in group that these two go hand in hand. I've met people that know God's word and scripture flows from their lips like honey, but their actions do not match what they are saying. I've also known those that are of great character, a great person, a caring person... but the actions are not founded based on God's word. Romans 8:9 You, however, are not controlled by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you.
The second thing that you need is prayer. Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Oh my gosh! If you didn't get it... read it again. Open communication with God about our fears, our impatience, and sometimes our doubts about ourselves pleases God. It's like when our children are struggling with issues and come to us for advice; it pleases our hearts to know they seek our advice. Ask God to reveal things to you about relationships and ask Him to protect your heart. He will give you the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Next you need accountability: "A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all judgment." (Proverbs 4:17) How often do we find ourselves giving so much in a relationship that we lose sight of our relationship with friends who love us, support us, and strengthen us? Chuck pointed out that we should bring new relationships into a circle of friends occasionally so that friends can see who this person is, and maybe they might see things that you don't see.
Last (or maybe not last) Practice: It takes practice, trial, and error in learning how to be a good cook. I've got the trial and error down pat, and sometimes, just like many of you are, I am really tired of practicing. But the kind of practice I'm talking about is putting God's word in our hearts so that we may use it to help us fight the spiritual battles that challenge us each day. And let's face it, relationships can initiate spiritual warfare on singles quickly if we aren't equipped. Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praise worthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
There we go again... that "peace" thing keeps showing up. I want to share with you that when I asked God to reveal to me areas in my life that I needed to change and open my eyes to relationships that were draining me spiritually and emotionally, I had no idea how fast these things would be revealed to me. But not only did this happen quickly, God brought to me a peace in my heart and took away the hurt that I was feeling. It's my prayer tonight that if any of you are experiencing any of these battles in your life, that God will reveal to you whatever it is that you need to see and that He will give you peace, comfort, and a hope for your future.
I love you all,
Missy
